Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
