Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
