I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
