I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
