turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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