Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize