Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it's like iHOP with fire
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We need a shit load of segways right now
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
