everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
