She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
