i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize