I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
