you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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