Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
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