piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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