theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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