He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wish there were birth control emojis
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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