Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
