Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
