I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize