Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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