the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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