I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
