I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
