i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
