Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize