I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize