another moral hangover. fuck.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
