Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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