So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
