I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
