Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
