Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
