last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
