did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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