It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
