the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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