I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
