Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
