I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
