His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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