Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I fill condoms, not promises.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
