Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
