we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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