Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think a kid would responsible me up
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
