And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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