Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
