i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
