She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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