I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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