just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm too high and old for this...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
