I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
