her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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