Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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