We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
