i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize