I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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