P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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