Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
