u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
