operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
