: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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