Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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