Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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