When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
