TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
